After the fall Eve is characterized by her children. She is cursed through pain in childbirth. She suffers the tragedy of a child’s death at the hands of another. And we are told she is not forgotten but given another son, Seth. The naming of Seth is the last we hear of Eve. We leave Eve in the joy of motherhood. And we soon find Sarah laughing at the prospect that that joy could be hers.

For hundreds of years Eve’s daughters are only mentioned in their role of bearing children. The sons of God are tempted by their beauty and together they conceive Nephilites (Genesis 6:1-4), Noah’s wife and his sons’ wives are only mentioned as a prerequisite of God’s command in Genesis 9 to be fruitful and multiply the earth.

It is significant that the next named woman in Genesis, the one whom God has chosen to bless the earth with, is barren. She is introduced to us, “The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai…But Sarai was unable to become pregnant and had no children (Genesis 11:29b-30).” And Abram, who would one day be the Father of Israel, is first characterized by a barren wife.

At this point in the story Abram and Sarai’s family had lost touch with the God of Adam and Eve. They lived in a land of pagan gods. We read in Joshua 24:2 “…They worshiped other gods…” But God reaches out, He does not let go of them, draws them close and promises them the blessing of many descendants.

Prominent in Sarah’s story is her beauty, jealousy and her laughter. Her beauty is so great that her husband fears for his own life and would rather lose her to a king then defend her as his own. Her jealousy tears a family apart and threatens the life of a child. Where as Eve took God’s words and twisted them, Sarah hears God speak and laughs. Like Eve, Sarah denies fault making excuses. But God’s grace still extends to her in all her flaws, imperfections, and barrenness.

God’s grace grants Abraham and her a child, Isaac “he laughs.”

But Sarah is impatient for the blessing of Isaac. God’s timetable is not her own. She laughs at the prospect of bearing a son in her old age and she intervenes with plans of her own. She brings another woman to her husband who bears him a child and spawns jealousy in her own heart.

So often I find myself in Sarah’s position. I long for God’s blessings and answers to prayers. I’ve struggled selfishly with his answers in my own life and I’ve impatiently tried to force dreams to come to fruition when His perfect timing is best.

God has placed certain desires in our hearts and we should pursue them, patiently. Sarah tried to force God’s hand and a portion of her blessing was diverted to the other wife. God often works in ways we can not begin to comprehend. Looking back at Abraham and Sarah’s life it is easy to ask where was their faith, why weren’t they patient, I mean the God of the universe took time to converse with them and they laughed? But living in the moment, looking at my own tired wrinkling eyes in only my mid thirties, feeling God’s tug on my life in a certain direction and only now seeing the beginnings of things I’ve longed for since my preteens, I understand Sarah’s doubt. Perhaps as the days and years ticked by she thought to herself, did I hear that right or was that a dream.

The times I have felt the heaviness of God’s unanswered prayers were in fact simply preparing me for the future only He could see. The journey would have been easier had I only just held on tight and trusted, but then again the story wouldn’t be the same and often it is the in-between where wisdom is found and shared.

Though she laughs, though she tries to force God’s answers in creative culturally appropriate ways, though she doubted and gave up, in Hebrews 11:11 she is acknowledged for her faith. God in His grace does not let go of her or us in our doubt. He holds on tight when we laugh, and He smiles knowing the blessings He is about to unleash. After all, isn’t this all just His story.

What dreams are you holding onto today that you feel God has placed in your heart?