Dear Grownups,
When are you going to show up and take over?
When I was a kid I remember watching my parents thinking, wow they really know what they are doing. They had this world figured out. They knew how to keep a clean house, minister to others, get their work done in a timely manner, show respect, and had a clear moral compass. Oh yeah, and they always had us in bed before nine. I thought once I reached their age I would have my $%*# together too.
Instead I find myself, 13 most days, trapped in the body of a 36 year old. I still love video games, would rather read YA lit than clean toilets, and I have to talk myself in to taking the kids to gymnastics after a day of work when all I want to do is crash in front of Agents of SHIELD.
For the majority of my childhood my mom stayed home. My dad was a pastor. Neither of them were helicopter parents and my siblings and I (there are 4 of us) enjoyed the freedom of bike rides to undisclosed locations. We always returned for food. We knew what was expected of us, strived to do our best, ate dinner as a family at the table, and followed the rules (at least until our teen years). Our parents never posted our bed wetting or nose picking on their Facebook wall. They kept family sacred. The outside world waited. Dinner wasn’t hashtagged it was eaten, plates were cleared and chores were completed before the sun went down.
My husband and I are straddling either side of 40. If you ask him, he is a grownup, his childhood is long gone. War will do that I guess. I don’t think I’m there yet. I know I should be but I keep waiting for someone else to jump in and take over.
My house is rarely clean. Dinner is usually shared in front of the television. My chosen profession is ministry but I struggle still to prove myself to so many. Of course I have to buck the system. I don’t seem to know how to do it in other way. Deadlines are only hard in my world if the Army gives them. I’m flexible sometimes to a fault. It’s one of the reasons I love homeschooling, I don’t like to be told when and where to be. I try to be respectful but often fear that the sarcasm build up will one day spill out. And as for a clear moral compass, the more I learn about God and Scripture the more questions I end up with.
Can someone just give me the cheat sheet?
Perhaps it is having raised children with a spouse on the other side of the world, perhaps it is our bout with cancer and multiple trips to St. Jude, perhaps it is the loss of control that comes with Army life that makes me so desperately want to hang on to my own childhood. Perhaps I am a grown up and have been for a while. But I don’t want to be. The fight to be taken seriously is a hard and long one. It would be simpler to blame the laundry and theology on someone else.
Could the grownups please just show up? I have a date with Skyrim to keep.
Please don’t feel alone. I’m 55, & still don’t feel grown up. I do all the “right” things, but my idea of fun is to go to an arcade & play pinball & Pacman. I tink maturitary is overated. And, I read somewhere that if you haven’t grown up by 50 you don’t have to! As for sarcasm, I waitressed for 20+ yrs. I used to joke that I went home with my tongue bleeding from biting it so much.
Thank you for the good laugh! I feel like returning my children from whence they came occasionally-either that or warning pregnant women that they’re going to regret their decision to have children. Thankfully (and by the grace of God), I’ve done neither.
Oh my goodness, how often I wonder when “the real Mommy” is going to swoop in and kiss boo boo’s, make difficult decisions, and take over for middle of the night tear fests. I’m still at 32 year old kiddo at heart.
Awesome post. I’m soon entering “the real world,” and I”ll be getting married shortly thereafter, so this has been on my mind for awhile…how on earth are we supposed to transition and have it all together and suddenly be what our parents were for us and more?? Now accepting all tips.
cominguprosestheblog.com
I love your post! Sometimes, life is just too much and that’s the honest truth.We are ONLY human.
Oh, and Agents of SHIELD are a must to keep your mental health in order 🙂
I hope you will share your letter with our link up:
http://milaslittlethings.com/2015/03/idea-box-thursday-link-party-3.html
Hugs,
Mila
milaslittlethings.com
milawayable@gmail.com
Thanks Mila. I just added this to your party. I like how you are doing your linkup. I just started hosting one on Wednesday. Would love for you to join it.https://www.hopengriffin.com/find-joy-in-everyday-joyhopelive-3-25-15/
I’m with you… I really wonder how my parents made this all look so seamless. Some days I just want to watch One Tree Hill in bed all day! Thanks for this honesty, and for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!
If they did-they’d probably be a lot less fun than us 🙂
Sometimes it’s better to never grow up, even though when you’re a kid you can’t wait for it to happen!
Thank you for linking up with Idea Box!
When we are children, we want to be grown-ups and when we are grown-ups, we want to be children. Some days as a parent are harder than others and I so wish roles reversed sometimes, but through the grace of God I keep getting through the rough times.
Thank you for sharing at Idea Box! I enjoy your thoughts.
I think we all feel like this some times. I usually don’t ever feel like I have it together! 🙂
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