When John and I were newly weds, enjoying the pile of Target gift cards and decking out our first 500 sq ft apartment, we splurged on a PlayStation. We knew with both of us in school and working there would be little time for date nights, and little money. So we decided gaming would be our fun play time. Before kids it seemed easy to schedule in fun time, even on a grad students income. And for awhile, with only one child, we were able to schedule fun alone time (usually during the baby’s nap). But three children and two deployments later fun isn’t always top priority.

*From This Day Forward: Five Commitments to Fail-Proof Your Marriage by Craig and Amy Groeschel was sent to me by Family Christian in exchange for a fair review. Family Christian has provided an additional copy of this book for a giveaway. Keep reading for details.

Divorce Proofing Your Marriage in 5 Words

…Floss, Fight, Play, Belly-Button Time, Pancakes…

Ok, so the entire book can’t be summed up in five words, and neither can a marriage. Marriage is messy, complex, and dare I say character building. Each one is unique in it’s joys and it’s pitfalls. A simple 171 pages can’t touch on the complexities of every marriage guaranteeing that divorce will not occur. But it can provide important steps to safeguard against it.

If your soldier is out the door soon or has recently left then I highly do not recommend this book. It was not written with you in mind. But hang on, don’t go anywhere yet. Just because it wasn’t written for the military marriage does not mean it has nothing to offer us. In fact, it has a whole lot of great advice.

From This Day Forward has found it’s way into my Reintegration Tool-Kit. If your soldier has recently returned, or will have boots on the ground in your home in a matter of days then it’s time to pull this book out. In fact if there is time to send one more care package, slip it in.

But before you slip it in to that red, white, and blue priority mail package let’s dress it up. Remember, this isn’t for your typical military marriage. It needs our help.

Get out the post it notes, the highlighter, and a bag of kisses. Write a short prayer, one that you’ve offered up a hundred times over the last 12 months on behalf of your soldier, and tuck it into chapter 1. On page 37 highlight some of that horizontal prayer action and write a little note in the margins or on a post it note about how you can’t wait for some- well you get the gist.

Chapter 2, page 65, sign your name with a handwritten promise to always fight fair. On page 69 and 70 tuck in some handwritten, or pre-printed, love coupons that read “Let’s make up!” on one side and “Don’t be mad” on the other. These are your spouses get out of jail free cards next time you go to bed in a huff, and a great reminder to never sleep in anger.

Chapter 3 is all about having fun, so have some. Litter this chapter with sticky notes and scribbles in the margin of all the fun things you plan on doing with and to your soldier once boots are on the ground. Remind him/her of the fun things you did when you were dating that made you fall in love in the first place. Draw a heart around or highlight every belly-button mentioned. Tally it up and make some fun promises.

Slip a picture of the two of you, or one of yourself, into chapter 4. Write all along the tops and sides “You are my one and only.” Get creative, Song of Solomon it if you so desire, and tell your spouse all the wonderful things you love about him/her.

In the last chapter, chapter 5, write out your marriage vows or rewrite some new ones. Leave a post it note that says from this day forward I will fight for you, from this day forward I will love you unconditionally, from this day forward I will never give up. Toss it in the box with a post it note on front that says “hidden surprises scattered within, your eyes only.” This isn’t a book we want him leaving behind at the USO. Then toss in a bag of Hershey Kisses with a note that reads “airplane snack, save the white strips and turn them in for the real thing soon.”

Marriage is hard but that doesn’t mean it can’t be wonderful. The honeymoon phase is great but short. Reintegration is difficult but can be a time that builds character in the entire family, strengthens and solidifies the commitment that is already there. From this day forward your marriage can be stronger then ever. If you commit to the five steps in this book and honor the covenant you and your spouse made then you can have a joyful, fulfilling and strong marriage.

This book, and a corresponding study guide for small groups, is available at Family Christian. Family Christian has also provided one copy to giveaway to one of my readers. See below for details.