Family Christian sent me the book 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage by Kim Kimberling in exchange for an honest review and are giving away a Gift Certificate to one of my readers (keep reading for details).

Marriage books can be difficult to read when you are in the military. They don’t connect, they leave guilt and longing that you can not always apply to a marriage separated by oceans and duty. At times, this was one of those books. The 7 secrets laid out play nicely with a 9 to 5 job, with the struggles of making it home in time for dinner and balancing kids with date nights. I don’t fault the author, that’s his audience. That’s what I do on this blog - take a marriage book not written with the mil spouse or long distance marriage in mind and apply it adequately to our lives.

My soldier and I were not in the best place when I was pregnant with our third and he was away at AIT. I sought out a pastor and asked for counseling. He had no idea what to do with me. I never went back. Instead, I struggled alone not yet in the military community but no longer a part of the civilian world. The marriage advice I had heard in seminary classes and the crystal clearness of God’s plan for marriage were becoming foggy.

I’ve since come to learn that the military community is not the only ones who struggle with making a marriage work with little time together. There are a number of professions and circumstances that draw us away from our partner. I wasn’t standing in the pastor’s office asking for help because of military life. We had drifted apart prior. I spent the majority of my time only three hours away from home with our toddler and her cancer journey. Cancer wedged it’s way into our marriage long before the army did.

Truckers, contractors, non-profits, CEOs, police officers, health professionals, and many others spend long hours and weeks apart. It was through reading As Waters Gone By that I realized that wives of prisoners share some of these same struggles. (All of these are reasons why I wrote the book Finding Joy: How A Year Apart Made Me A Better Wife being released later this year)

So can these 7 secrets Dr. Kimberling writes about benefit them? Benefit me? They can, when applied properly and if you start the book with the promise to not allow guilt at distance or what if he/she were home questions to interrupt. Each of these secrets is vital to a marriage no matter what separates you. In fact, if you are in the stage of reintegration I encourage you to read and apply immediately, because well you just never know when they are back out the door again.

The 7th secret is the real keeper, the one that we can apply no matter what separates us. We may not fit into the stereotypical God first then partner because duty trumps love but we can learn to fight on the same team. And we can fight hard. We are resilient after all. Marriage is worth fighting for and when both partners decide to fight to save what they have and to make it better then why wouldn’t it come out stronger?

Pre-order your copy now at Family Christian. Available in stores July 28th!



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