A few years back a group of friends in El Paso, TX hosted a Valentine event for spouses of deployed soldiers.

It was my family’s first experience with deployment. My soldier had left the previous November and the thought of spending another holiday alone was unbearable. So with the help of a few friends, I devised a plan.

Our Big Event

After recruiting volunteers, collecting door prizes, books and contributions we began to spread the word. Valentine’s weekend a group of women and children showed up in our sanctuary. We provided childcare, crafts, and pizza for the kids. In break out groups we discussed Loving Your Military Man, Direction Moments from the Direction Diva, and Finding Joy.

There were silly icebreakers, Chick-fil-a, a chocolate fondue fountain, and free childcare. The day was filled with friends and laughter. Each of us left with trinkets, door prizes, books, and smiles.

Instead of spending the day in PJs eating cereal, crying to hallmark movies, and trying to hide our loneliness from the kids-we embraced one another. We remembered why we loved our soldiers, why they were worth waiting for, and that we were not in it alone.

What I Miss During Deployments

When my husband is deployed it’s not the big holidays where I miss him the most. It’s the little everyday things like Sunday dinners and sci-fi marathons, overflowing trash cans and backed up toilet. And it’s the empty places, the unslept-in bed, and the missing coffee cup beside mine. I miss the partner I signed up to do life with.

Throughout deployments, there have been times that I have been beyond blessed by the support of others.

We have received gift cards for Christmas from people we have never met. A neighbor saw that I kept forgetting trash day when John first deployed and put my trash out for me. My mom left me asleep on her couch after I cried myself to sleep on Christmas Day and took care of the kids. A friend and her husband surprised me by cleaning my house while I was at work.

I have been beyond blessed by the military community and by the civilians in our lives. While the loneliness cannot be healed by anything other than my soldier’s homecoming, the small (and sometimes big) acts of kindness remind me that this is doable.

This Valentine Be Someone’s Valentine

If you know someone who is in the midst of a deployment (even if you are too), reach out to them. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

Why not host a get together for spouses of deployed soldiers? It can be as little or as big as you want.

Take a spouse to coffee, drop a gift basket on his/her doorstep. Mostly just remind him or her that they are not in this alone. It will mean the world. I know because it meant the world to me.

If your looking for some fun ideas to do with a friend try one of these:

25 DIY Valentine’s Day Gifts

9 Clever and Unique Valentine’s Day Ideas

What is a small act of kindness you have received that helped you through a rough patch? Share in the comments below.