Being a veteran’s wife, rather than a military spouse, is still a new world for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love this side. As a military spouse, I was a volunteer junkie. Every time someone needed anything I jumped in. If I didn’t know how to do a task I knew I could learn quickly thanks to the help of more seasoned spouses, youtube, and insomnia.
My soldier’s retirement was fast, and medical. So we did some rapid research and chose an area with an excellent VA (they can be hard to find) and close to family (for the support system). There have been plenty of bumps along the way. One day I might have the nerve to sit down and write about the crazy move to our new home and how we didn’t know it was ours until we’d been semi-squatting in it for a month. It’s been a year and it’s still too fresh to talk about.
Life in the military isn’t that different from life on the other side. There is still a lot of hurry up and wait, red tape, Tricare, and instant friendships in the military/veteran community. But there is also a lot that is different. We are learning how to communicate, to do life together. There is more time to focus on us and counseling services and help for PTSD are readily available. There is culture shock and a struggle to connect to the civilian community but we are learning to take it slow and forge friendships that last. Where once we were taught to be resilient now we are told to bare our souls. For me, the biggest challenge has been to sit on my hands when a new volunteer position becomes available. One volunteer job particularly taught me not to jump at every opportunity, I’ll share more about that in a later post.
My husband is amazing, as a veteran, a spouse, a father, and a friend. I watch him walk through this new world we live in and navigate triggers and the naivety of what soldiers endure with kindness and honesty.
As a military spouse, I was proud of my husband but I didn’t always understand what it was he was sacrificing and why he felt the need to serve. Whereas before I was blinded by my own sacrifice and that of my children, I now understand in ways I wish I had from the beginning. It was a part of who he was, in his soul, it still is. As a veteran’s wife, I see the hero he was, is, and always will be and I am beyond grateful that he is mine and I am his.
To my husband, my soldier, my veteran, and hero
I see you and the sacrifices you’ve made. I know you don’t want a big deal made and that the thousands of thank you’s that come your way today make you feel awkward.
You didn’t do it for the praise. You served because you felt a calling to step up and fill a gap, to protect people you didn’t know and to protect our family.
Words can’t truly express what you gave and continue to give because of that decision. A thank you feels small. But thank you for this life you carved out for us, for every single one of the sacrifices you made.
Today and tomorrow, whatever comes next, is now ours to walk through together. I am proud to be that person walking beside you and with you. Together we can overcome anything.
