Let’s talk deployment. Yes I know, not a favorite topic of mine either. But it’s part of the life and as much as we want to ignore it we know the possibility of another one coming is out there, that is if we aren’t actually in the reality of it now.

Here are a few things I’ve picked up over the years. If you have a resource you’d like to share feel free to do so in the comments below.

MUST HAVE BOOKS TO HELP

There are many aspects to the military life from how to handle moves (stateside and overseas), how to juggle careers and education goals with frequent moves, how to navigate paperwork and relationships, and so much more. If you find yourself in a place where the military feels as if it is getting in the way of your dreams and aspirations, take heart, the advice The Modern Military Spouse will help you find your way. If your finding yourself feeling topsy-tervy and no clue emotionally how to make these constant changes work then the book you are looking for is The Right Side Up. And of course we all need help Finding Joy along each step of the way.

OPSEC

We talk about this in FRG meetings and then we go straight to social media and share in not so cryptic messages that our soldier is about to head out and leave us here. It’s hard, and those likes and comments give us some comfort in our moment but there are real reasons why we should be closed lip. Here are a few I picked up from the show Castle (The Secrets We Keep) and the story of Sampson (The Haircut that Cost His Life).

Staying Connected During Deployment

This can be tricky and every couple has their own tips. One that I particularly like is the 40 Day Deployment Dare. Start it the day he leaves and just keep repeating it as many times as you need to. It’s the Love Dare rewritten for Military couples. On this site you will also find a couple of marriage books that I have added my own military spin to. Get a copy of Divorce Proofing Your Marriage and follow the tips here to make a fun interactive care package with that your soldier will look forward to cashing in when boots hit the ground. Or pick up a copy of I Choose You Today for some great conversation starters via email or snail mail, or if your lucky messenger. A positive attitude goes a long way as well. It’s an essential during this time. (Why the day he deployed was a good day)

Another way to stay connected is through creative care packages (like the one mentioned at Divorce Proofing Your Marriage). You can find more on my Pinterest Care Packages Board where I’m always adding cute ones that catch my eye.

Follow Hope N. Griffin’s board Care Packages on Pinterest.

Perspective is such a big part of communication during deployment. When our soldier’s say something that offends or doesn’t make sense we need to take a step back and try our best to see it from there vantage point. Corrie Weathers, Military Spouse of the Year 2015 had the opportunity to travel to the Middle East to help us (Military Spouses on the homefront) see deployment in another light. You can follow her journey beginning here Military Spouse Journey Day 1: Air Force and Turkey. For even more perspective pick up the book Unbreakable: A Navy Seal’s Way of Life. Author (Ret.) Senior Chief Thom Shea shares his experience as a Navy Seal and husband. Listen to the interview below, it begins around 32 minutes.

Helping Children Through Deployment

• Helping Children Through Deployment
• My Teen is in Crisis! What do I do?
• Field Problem - Preparing for Daddy to be Gone

The above posts will give you a starting point. You can also reach out to Army Wife Network’s Field Problem section. If you don’t see the answer you are looking for ask the question and we will respond quickly! It doesn’t just have to be about kids. It can be about any aspect of military life you are unsure about.

I also like to collect fun activities that help the kids understand where daddy is and how long he will be gone. You can find them on my Pinterest board Children and Deployments.

Follow Hope N. Griffin’s board Children and Deployments on Pinterest.

FRIENDS - The Best Resource During a Deployment

You and I can not do it alone. Stop believing the lies that you are enough, that you can simply pull up your big girl panties and press on.

Find a community where you can connect (read Are You Strong Enough).

Military Spouses: We are in this together is a blog hop that a number of fellow bloggers participated in to say enough with the online shamming. Step up and help one another through this. We aren’t strong enough to do this alone and that is ok, because we have each other. You will find lots of online community and friendship following the wonderful bloggers who took part in the hop.

Recently, I hosted a Military Friend Series on this site. You can read testimony from these women on why they are thankful for their military friends.

• Why I’m Thankful for my Military Community by Ariel
• I’m So Thankful for my Mil-Spouse Friends by Jodi
• Why I’m Thankful for the Military Community From a Civilian LeAnna Brown
• For Friends and Couches by Kim
• Thankful for this passionate rag-tag bunch of awesome-sauce by Erica
• 3 Reasons I am Thankful for my Military Community by Elizabeth

If you are having a hard time finding friends who will pour into you, think about being a mentor for a younger or newer spouse (Read: The Importance of Mentors and A Friend in Me). And of course if you haven’t yet now is a great time to get a copy of my book Finding Joy: The Year Apart That Made Me A Better Wife and read it with a group of friends. There are questions in the back of each chapter for a discussion guide. It walks you through every step of a deployment, from learning he is deploying to the struggles of reintegration.

Reintegration

This topic is tricky. Just like deployment it’s different for everyone, but there are some tricks to it. One big one is to remember that even though you’ve been doing it on your own all this time your spouse is still very much needed. You need to make him/her feel needed.

The best explanation I have of reintegration for someone who has never been through it before is from an episode of Last Man Standing. There are things left unspoken and we can’t guess them. Both of us have changed and a new normal has to be found. It is only possible if we are both listening. The honeymoon is sweet, and I pray you the blessing of a long one. But when it ends just remember to listen to what isn’t being said just as much as what is.

Join Army Wife Talk Radio every Monday night. Join the live chat on twitter and Facebook during the show. Don’t be afraid to ask questions through their Field Problems or twitter parties. The purpose of Army Wife Network is to meet you where you are at and offer help.

Always remember you are not alone. We may not be from the same family tree but this life has weaved us together in ways that can not be unbroken.

If you have any special tips or advice on how you and your soldier connect during deployments please leave them below in the comments.