Just Show Up: The dance of walking through suffering together

I know a thing or two about stumbling over my words, of wishing I had the right thing to say in the right moment. We’ve all been there I’m sure - when a friend is suffering and we want to provide comfort but are to afraid to get involved. I also know a thing or two about being the one suffering and wanting desperately for someone to just shut up and hold my hand through it all.

In Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking Through Suffering Together two friends share with us the journey of stepping on toes, giving grace, and being there for each other in the midst of the hard.

Family Christian and David C Cook sent me Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking Through Suffering Together in exchange for my humble opinion.

The premise of the book is simple when someone in your life is suffering just show up. Be present in the face of pain and don’t run from it. Learn to be there for others, be blessed by their presence and bless them with yours, don’t try to fix their suffering or lean on them to comfort your fears, stumble over your words and learn to apologize and to be silent. Just be present.

By allowing us into their own journey Kara and Jill are able to share with us how to enter someone’s world, when to step back, and how to accept that help. One of the most helpful parts of the book was the comfort in, dump out model. Referencing How Not To Say The Wrong Thing Buteyn shares how we offer comfort to those who are close to the suffering and find comfort from those who are further removed than us. You don’t dump your fears and frustrations onto the inner circle of the one who is suffering, but you do need to find comfort from others as you walk the journey yourself.

It is hard to show up for friends who are suffering. Many times it breaks you. But it’s not about you or me. It’s about showing up in those places and loving those who need it the most. It’s about removing yourself from the equation and loving unconditionally.

Whether you have already walked the road of suffering or not, I highly recommend this book. It offers grace in the places we’ve already misstepped and leads us to do better next time. Because as much as we don’t want there to be a next time, there will be. Whether we are the one called to suffer and extend grace to those who clumsily try to help or we are the one offering the help this book is a beautiful testimony of entering hard times together and friendships that are forged in fire.

Before you go grab a copy of Kara and Jill’s books!