Hurry up and wait.
This is a phrase familiar to every military household. The Army teaches us to be prepared for anything, to show up on time when asked, but to be flexible in the moment to the needs of the Army. It means we show up without a guarantee that this is the schedule, location or appointment the Army will commit to.
Military Life, “Hurry Up And Wait”
Military life is a series of preparation from one goodbye to the next, intermixed with the anticipation of cherished hellos. Whether we are preparing for our next move or extended time apart from our soldier, there is always something on the horizon. For the last eight years, I have been preparing. Every year we are told a move is coming, so I sit in anticipation of our next location preparing my heart to say goodbye to our home and hello to new friends. And every year we remain to bloom at Bliss. Yet a change is coming to our home that is inevitable.
Through our time here I have learned valuable lessons on loving the unloveable. Living in the desert has provided an environment of self-discovery and growth. It has strengthened my own identity for what lies ahead.
I am ready to leave, to move on to the next big adventure. So while I sit here in the contentment of familiarity, I am preparing my heart and home for a farewell. Though our moves have been few, deployments have taught us to constantly live in preparation.
Parenting, “Hurry Up And Wait”
In the midst of the unknown, I am preparing my heart and my home for the teenage years as well.
My children have left the time of scraped knees, exchanging them for broken hearts. My living room is no longer piles of onesies intermixed with Cheerios and sounds of The Wiggles. Instead, the laundry has piled higher, Cheerios have been sacrificed to calorie counting, and teenage angst fills our TV screen.
Wise and foolish women of Matthew 25
There is a parable of five wise young women and five foolish in Matthew 25. They are awaiting the bridegroom. The foolish ones do not bring enough oil for their lamps, they arrive to the party unprepared and have to leave before it even begins. The wise young women bring enough and are welcomed in. As I read this story I realize the 10 young women are not unlike Army spouses, anticipating the day and hour of their loved one’s return.
Deployments have always left me slightly broken, I am anticipating the teenage years will as well. As we struggle through self-identity/esteem/heartbreak/purpose, I’m contemplating my role. My heart has already broken in a thousand pieces as I watch them struggle and I’m learning, slowly, I can’t fix the world for them. Instead, I have been preparing our home since the first day they arrived to be a safe haven, a shelter in the storm.
Not my practice life
There is a sign I pass daily, “This is not your practice life.” No matter how many times I have seen it, it makes me pause and wonder if I’m present in today.
Am I loving my children beyond the scraped knees, do they know this is their one shot and are living fully because they see me modeling it for them?
Am I modeling the wise women in Matthew 25, prepared for the future, or am I showing them the path to foolishness?
I know I will make mistakes along the way. Yesterday was a particularly difficult mothering day for my emotions. As I tucked my middle daughter into bed, fighting back my tears, and each child softly calling me from their rooms my daughter said, “It’s because you are loved, mom.”
God Says, “Hurry Up And Wait”
We are in the season of Lent, a time of waiting and preparation. It is similar to the parable in Matthew 25 of the 10 virgins.
For 40 days, we live with the anticipation of the cross. We sacrifice something meaningful to us, we give our best during Lent, and refocus our thoughts on the One who loved us enough to walk through suffering for us. We prepare, we wait, we walk through the suffering knowing the miracle will follow.
Life is both beautiful and hard. It’s a series of ups and downs. As we move closer to Easter, to the suffering Christ on the cross and the glorious Resurrection that follows, we are reminded it is in our suffering, we grow stronger.
Hurry up and wait has taken on a new meaning. I do not know what tomorrow will bring for my family, what struggles they will face with each new day, or what joys we will experience. For now, I’m stocking up on tape for shattered hearts, tissues for the tears and a freezer full of ice cream for those rare evenings when calories won’t count.
