Throwing It All Away by Nina Owen is one mother’s honest search for understanding, hope, and life following her son’s suicide. Southern Fried Karma, the publisher of this book, sent it to me in exchange for an honest review.
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Overview of Throwing It All Away
Sam is a high achieving young man who while battling crippling depression and drug use looses his battle to suicide. The book begins with the day Sam goes missing and is a heartbreaking tale of his mother’s loss and the journey she takes toward healing. Owens peels back the curtain and lets us into her life, her pain, and the spiritual journey it took her on.
Nina Owens is very much like every mother. She is faced with deep grief, struggles with self doubt and blame, and is attempting to make sense of the unimaginable. It is her honest telling of her family’s story that is so gripping. There are things in every family that are hidden. Owens lets us in, she waves a white flag and declares there are no secrets here. She’s welcoming us into her family’s tragedy and offering companionship and hope to those who are, who have, and who will one day walk the same path.
As a writer what can I take away from Throwing It All Away?
When I read a book, I come at it not just as an avid reader, but also as a writer. The questions I am asking myself go beyond simple enjoyment.
I am looking at the craft.
What is it about Throwing It All Away that captures my attention?
So often in memoirs or retellings like this book, the author recasts themselves as the hero. Nina Owen does not do this. She is relatable because of her flaws and her insecurities. She is honest about her role in Sam’s life, the things she wish she hadn’t said as well as the things she wish she had. She is not self-degrading but rather takes a hard look at herself. In the end she is neither the hero or the villain. She is simply a mother who loves her children and learns how deep that love is in new ways every day.
Is there something that pulls me away from the story?
At first, the drug use was jarring. But it was also an honest part of the story and I appreciated Owen’s honesty and willingness to share.
Do I want to turn every page and if so why?
Not always. This was an emotional reaction however and not a reaction to the writing itself. Our family has its own struggles with mental health and PTS. We have lost friends to suicide and are working through our own personal struggles.
There were moments where it was very difficult to read this book, but the fact that I wanted to keep reading, despite the distress, says a lot for Owen and her ability to craft this story.
Can Throwing It All Away and the methods Nina Owen uses offer me a way forward on a project I am working on or a problem I am facing in my writing?
Telling the truth, especially in regards to the struggles we face in our families, can be terrifying. As I read this book it reminded me just how powerful truth-telling is. Rarely is there an incident that no one else has experienced. As writers, we tell the truth, whether through fiction or non-, in order to invite those on the outside in and give them a path toward empathy. Owen did a masterful job of this.
These are some of the questions playing around in my head with every book I read.
My opinion of Throwing It All Away by Nina Owen
This was a hard book to read. It flowed easily but was best consumed, for my own well-being, in small doses. I was welcomed into a world full of suffering and pain that moved toward healing. The rawness of her loss and the honesty of every word moved me to tears. I did not want to finish this book but I had to because I needed to know that Nina Owen would be ok. I connected with her as a mother who is simply trying to navigate the unfamiliar waters of raising children in a time where mental health needs, suicide ideation, and drug use are at an all-time high.
If you are wondering about the mental health of your teens and what to look for I highly recommend reading My Teen Is In Crisis! What Do I Do?
If you’ve read this book or know of another about recovering from a family member’s suicide drop a note in the comments. And don’t forget to grab your next read here:
