So it has begun. The long nights, the waiting anxiously to hear from my husband. It feels at times like the challenge is just to get from this day to our reuniting. The in-between is just what we endure as we wait.
That’s not good enough for me.
If he is gone 1 day or 500 days each one is still a gift. I refuse to allow those days, weeks, and months to be stolen by worry.
Each and every day I want to awake in the morning and lie down at night knowing that today… today was and is a good day.
Have you read the Book of Esther? If not it’s a must read. This woman is a great example to us. Ripped from her family she was forced into a life style she did not desire and spent a year preparing to have one night with the king. And if she was good enough in the sack she would end up his Queen. Nope no pressure.
I can already sense the difference. I’ve been told that each deployment brings with it new challenges and no two are the same. This time… I’m pretty sure… is going to be all about the children.
Daddy left for a month. And they fell apart. We entered the world of baby talk, bed wetting, and continuous tears (a world we exited along with diapers over 2 years ago). One night our middle daughter nearly hyperventilated just desiring a hug from dad.
Needless to say, I took a short hiatus from blogging. But I’m back. And for now I’m focusing on my kids.
Our secret indulgences hurt no one. The things we do late at night affect only our waist line and insomnia. Pornography and Chocolate really have nothing in common, or do they.
As an Army Wife I know the struggle of loneliness, the pain of separation. There are quick fixes to sooth these aches and I would like to suggest two: Pornography and Chocolate.
As a military wife I have struggled with spouts of depression. The topic has come up a number of times lately, especially since the uniform switch. Some of the men headed out are in new uniforms and wives have told me that it brings with it spouts of anxiety attacks and just overwhelming sadness at what lies ahead. It is a hard life that we have been called to. But depression does not have to control us. Today’s post to The Esther Project is just a chance to evaluate where we are and how to move forward.
Today’s post was written by Deb and is taken from 5 Minutes for Faith with Deb’s permission of course.
I’m staring down at a blank pad of paper with this foreign object called a pen in my hand. The past 24 hours has taught me a few things.
- ALWAYS back up your hard drive
- A piece of paper and a pencil are sometimes the safest way to write
- A fresh start may be frightening but brings with it new opportunities
- When we are passionate and called to a specific task defeat is not an option
- And thank goodness for my techy husband
The Esther Project is a personal journey I set out on during John’s first deployment. Rather then complain about my circumstances and the year apart I decided to follow the lead of Esther and prepare my heart and my home “for such a time as this.” It became my goal to take a year and prepare for my husbands return, just as Esther prepared for her King Xerxes.
I drew inspiration from other military wives: present day, historical, and those recorded in the Bible. From their stories I learned how to prepare my heart and home for John’s return and struggled with the challenges of reintegration and redeployment.
As I edit and reevaluate my writings during this time I will be sharing them here, under The Esther Project. It is my desire and hope that together you and I can be battle buddies in our upcoming seasons of loneliness.
With much love,
Hope
*Even if your hubby isn’t a soldier, don’t think you can’t join us. All of us experience times of separation whether it is emotional or physical, whether it is due to employment or health.
