If you came here today looking for an article that is no longer here – well, I’ve been on a journey. It was time to make a change, actually quite a few. Overcoming resistance to change was my greatest hurdle. And I don’t mean resistance from others nearly as much as I mean stepping out of my own comfort zone.

Let me explain.

But first a story.

Back in the 1900s…

My freshman year of college, my roommate (Emily) and I both ended up sick during finals week. The nurse’s advice was to use a humidifier. Since we didn’t have one the suggestion was to let our faucet drip throughout the night.

We lived on the top floor of our dormitory. <- That’s important to remember.

After an unhealthy late night of studying followed by an excessive amount of NyQuil, Emily and I turned on the drip and fell asleep.

All night I dreamed of thunderstorms. Noah and his ark even made a few appearances.

At 7 am the alarm went off and our feet dutifully hit the floor… or they tried to.

The water covered our feet. Emily and I both started screaming.

The world had flooded!

As the sleep cleared and the steady drip, drip of the faucet caught our attention the screams turned into laughter, followed by a full day of wet vacs and explaining to the RA how it was really the nurse who had convinced us this was a good idea.

Unknown to us there had been a slight crack in the pipe. The steady drip of water eventually broke the barrier completely, flooding our entire dorm room.

Why overcoming resistance to change was not an option

2020 was a crazy year. That phrase is cliche and the truth is we aren’t even out of the pandemic yet or have seen all the changes it brought with it.

Before the year began I was already struggling.

For years I’d put everyone ahead of myself: my soldier, my children, my friends, my employer… You get the idea. The current situation had all kinds of cracks.

I stuffed down my own feelings thinking I was doing those around me a disservice if I made my own needs evident. When really, what I should have done is tell the truth.

Authenticity is a core belief of mine and yet I wasn’t living an authentic life. I was lying to myself and dying inside.

The result - relationships around me began to deteriorate and die, the mental health of my kids took a hit, and my health plummeted.

The status quo was not affirming or healthy for any of us.

Suddenly I had to sit in the life I had let happen all around me and pay attention. How did I end up here? When had all my dreams died?

This wasn’t an overnight disaster. It was a slow steady drip that turned into a flood.

I wasn’t simply looking at stepping out of my comfort zone to find a new way of doing things. These weren’t minor changes. In fact, there was a good chance that the family would fight me every step of the way. My proposed changes brought with them a great deal of uncertainty, and I was at risk of losing everything. But I knew if I didn’t implement these changes I would lose myself.

I felt like I was dying.

The change project in your life

I don’t know what you are facing down right now or the root causes that have led you to this page.

Perhaps your situation isn’t at home, but at your job and you’re:

• looking at an organizational change at work
• are one of the team members fighting the change
• are overcoming resistance to change in your own heart
• are overcoming resistance to change from your leaders
• or are up against employee resistance

Overcoming resistance to change for any new system will require top leaders (parents or senior managers) to develop clear two-way communication. Poor communication only fosters lack of trust in the business world and also at home.

Many of the same principles that can be applied at home can also be applied in the workplace. Boundaries, communication, and authenticity all play major roles in bringing about the most effective changes.

Proposed change will face potential resistance. Humans are creatures of habit and new ideas spook us, especially when part of the change disrupts the only constant we’ve known.

If you have kids or teens like I do, and all they’ve seen is you allow others to walk all over you, speak disrespectfully to you, and take advantage of you - then they don’t know that those behaviors are wrong. A significant amount of resistance will lie ahead of you. But successful leaders know that positive change is worth the hard times and additional training will lead to new processes and better practices.

How to make a change in your life

When you notice a drip, do something about it!

Stay excited about your life. If you’re not then an adjustment needs to be made.

Make you a priority. You my friend are worth it, and so am I.

You will meet up with people’s resistance but as you take the first step and implement change, their fear of the unknown will fall away. They will come to see that you learning to love yourself is a good thing.

Here’s a few of the changes I’ve had to make in order to truly show up as my authentic self:

• Focus on my physical health (workout, eat right, seek professional help)
• Realize no one is going to take care of me, but me
• Take responsibility for all past decisions then put them firmly in my past
• Learn when to say no and then stick to that decision
• Give myself the freedom to walk away from relationships and systems that weren’t working
• Discover that I am worthy of the same unconditional love I’ve been giving others, and then give it to myself
• Stop making excuses for my dreams and go after them
• Learn effective communication
• Acknowledge that future changes are still needed, one’s I may not have uncovered yet
• Stay committed because overcoming resistance to change will be my new normal!

Yeah. That’s a lot. I’d say it’s enough for now though I haven’t yet arrived.

If you are wondering if it’s time to make a change in your life, take a look at these 6 signs. If they resonate then it might be time to address the leaky faucet before the flood happens.

Who I am

I’m still working on me but I’ve got to tell you, fixing those persistent drips that ate away at my soul have been life-altering.

I’m showing up, speaking up, and feeling better physically than I have in a long time.

Instead of Finding Joy, I had embraced the chaos and accepted it as a fact of life.

Friend, that has changed and is changing. It’s a process after all.

The truth is though I haven’t really let you get to know me, so here it is with the promise to continue to show up as authentically me from this day forward.

The Short

Born in Florida but bounced around the south. A nomad at heart I love to travel and desire to see so much more of the world.

Early on I fell in love with words, theology, and service to others.

I’m an Enneagram 2 w 6&9 who desires above all else to leave the world a little bit better than it was yesterday. That’s why the company I founded, Creative Bay, works primarily with purpose-driven brands that practice “people above profits.” It’s why I continue to work with the Bautista Project as their Chief Marketing Officer, and why I began Hope for Tampa and have plans that the next step is to pivot it to a portal for nonprofits seeking services, grant writers, and volunteers.

The Long 

I was born in Florida to two teachers, one who would go on to serve special needs children and the other who would become a pastor. 

From the very beginning, I had a front-row seat to what service looked like. 

A creature of habit, you could say I followed in my parent’s footsteps, falling in love with both the written word and theology. I graduated with a BA in English and MA in BS before pursuing ministry.

I ended up with a spouse who also believed deeply in service. Seven years into our marriage he enlisted in the Army as a Combat Engineer. Ten years later he was medically retired due to injuries sustained in combat. 

During his time in service, I embarked on a mission to discover my own purpose. I was a borderline pacifist and mother of three, one who was battling cancer, when he packed us up and moved us to El Paso, TX where we would stay for the next ten years.

The lifestyle of the military spouse is unique. It can become easy to lose oneself in the waiting, caregiving, and constant changes. One’s own needs can be quickly trivialized by the constant reminder to put the mission first, to serve the community, to be resilient and flexible as life was in constant unpredictable flux. A great way to lose yourself is to just accept the culture around you as the status quo and not demand different ways or new initiatives.

I set out on a mission to find joy in the chaos, despite the circumstances. This website began as a personal blog that was part of that process and was soon followed by my first book, Finding Joy: The Year Apart That Made Me A Better Wife.

Life has changed greatly since those days, and I’ve pivoted from Military Spouse with young children to a Marketing Professional and Writer pursuing my dreams and elevating others in theirs.

My focus is less on caregiving and sacrifice, and more on career development and learning to pour the same attention I once gave others into my own self-care. As an Enneagram 2, it was easy to self-sabotage in the name of serving others, to undervalue my own dreams and needs justifying the behavior as caregiving and love. I’ve had a hard time getting to where I am today, realizing that self love is not selfish, its important.

It’s been a long journey but today I’m offering myself the same unconditional love that I have poured out to others. In the process I’ve discovered I’m more available and more capable than I ever knew to effectively serve the community around me.

The lack of awareness for my own needs meant I wasn’t fully equipped to help other human beings navigate the challenges that they faced.

My faith, relationships, service, and career goals have all evolved along the way. It was seven years ago that I began to truly focus on my writing and gave myself permission to question my beliefs. It hasn’t been a smooth transition, but it was the right one.

I am not the same person who began this blog, and that’s ok. If you’ve been with me since day one I’m certain you are not the same either.

We evolve.

We change.

It’s time to make a change in how we communicate.

It’s time to put new tools, the right tools, into our toolbox and create a successful transformation for ourselves that spills over into the lives around us.

It’s time to get to know each other all over again.

The benefits of the change I’ve implemented in my life uncovered new skills, greater emotional intelligence, and a passion for life I did not know I had.

The result of the change? I no longer feel like I’m dying and I’m looking forward to the days that lie ahead.

Overcoming resistance to change was hard, but it was so worth it.